Comatose
by ItsPurpleTitan
Summary: Mikasa and Levi's relationship is shattered by the unthinkable, leaving Mikasa to pick up the pieces. Loosely based on the song Comatose by Skillet. T for later chapters. Final chapter added!
1. Chapter 1

First chapter Rivamika story, but it wont be too long. Probably only 3 chapters max. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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_Dark grey eyes flutter open and are met by a pair of bright blue orbs. She knows these eyes well, and finds comfort in them, whereas many others find terror. He stares at her, his narrow, sky-blue eyes gleaming in the morning sunlight as they trace over her features. It's still early, but Mikasa knows she must leave his bed and return to hers before anyone wakes. However, he's so warm and close that it's quite the task, one she dreads every morning. _

_ He shifts, reaching over and pulling her closer and planting a soft kiss on her forehead. Mikasa smiles and tangles her legs with his, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head under his chin._

_ "Good morning, Levi." She whispers against his warm skin._

_ "Good morning, Mikasa." He buries his nose into her dark hair, savoring her scent. _

_ Mikasa beams to herself. Nothing is better than waking up and hearing those three beautiful words._

_ "Go on, Mikasa," She hears him sigh and her smile fades. She loathes the idea of abandoning his warm bed and lying back down in her chilled bunk. He kisses her one more time and gently nudges her towards the edge of his bed._

_ "Get up, Mikasa…Mikasa…."_

"Mikasa!"

She flinches at the sound of her name. Immediately she opens her eyes and searches for Levi, only to discover she's in her own, cold bed, all by herself. Mikasa sighs and rubs her drowsy eyes. _It felt so real…_

"Oi, Mikasa, come on!" Sasha barks, gently poking Mikasa until she sits upright, her feet dangling off the bed. The oriental girl yawns and runs her fingers through her dark, tangled hair as she glances out the window. The sun is still rising, but she realizes she has overslept and missed breakfast.

"Don't worry, I saved you some food." Sasha assures her and points to the night stand next to Mikasa's bed. It isn't much, but as of late Mikasa's appetite has noticeably decreased, and she tries to deny Sasha's offer. Any other day the auburn haired girl would gladly accept the food for herself, but today is different.

"You need to eat, Mikasa…" Sasha picks up the plate and sets it on her friend's lap, "you weren't at dinner last night, and I don't remember seeing you at breakfast that morning, either."

"Some people aren't constantly hungry, Sasha," Mikasa replies coldly, averting her eyes and staring at her plate.

"Well, starving yourself wont bring the Corporal back."

Mikasa gasps at Sasha's bold statement, but it hits her soon after that her friend is right. Sasha is the only one who knows about her relationship with the Corporal, only because she caught Mikasa sneaking out of their superiors' room while she was leaving the kitchen after her mid-night snack. Mikasa frowns with a heavy sigh, and fixes her eyes back on the contents of her plate. She feels a hand on her shoulder, and looks up to see Sasha kneeling in front of her.

"Eat," she says, "and after you finish, I'll go with you to visit him."

Mikasa is taken aback at Sasha's actions. After the mid-night incident, Mikasa had been so startled by Sasha spotting her that she refused to talk to the girl. Of course, this didn't last long, but her interactions with her comrade were more on the awkward side for several days after the event. Despite this, Sasha still treats her kindly.

"I am in debt to you, Sasha," Mikasa announces, "I apologize for snapping at you just now. I just…" she trails off, bowing her head slightly and closing her eyes.

"I understand," Sasha pats her on the shoulder and rises, "now hurry up and eat, before I regret not eating it myself." She teases before adding, "and get dressed when you're done, I'll be waiting outside."

With that she leaves and Mikasa is alone once again. She finishes her meal and dresses quickly, eager to visit the Corporal in the infirmary. She cringes, remembering the horrifying incident that took place just over a week ago. Levi's gear malfunctioning, the aberrant, the sickening amount of blood…

"Almost done, Mikasa?" Sasha calls from the other side of the door. The oriental girl shakes her head in a desperate attempt to rid her mind of the haunting images of Levi's motionless body. She exits her room and nods to Sasha, who takes the lead as the two head towards the infirmary.

Xx

"He's still in very critical condition. You may enter, just be mindful that he will not respond to you." A small, chubby nurse instructs before opening the door to Levi's room. Mikasa and Sasha nod to her, then enter the small, dimly lit room.

Mikasa feels her heart drop as she enters the room, something that she has become accustomed to while Levi has been in his current state. He lays on the raised mattress, eyes shut and mouth slightly gaped, his body riddled with tubes. She takes her usual place at the chair beside his bed, tenderly taking his hand into hers.

"He's so cold," she mumbles, more to herself than to Sasha. Normally she would take his hand and feel the familiar warmth that she found so oddly comforting. Yet, today, his hand feels like ice. The feeling sends her back to the day of her parents' demise six year ago. "He's never been this cold before…" _I'm losing him…_

Sasha says nothing. All she does is rest a hand on Mikasa's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze when she feels Mikasa's body shaking. Her heart aches for the girl, whom she can hardly recognize in this state. The girl who is considered the strongest of her class, the girl who barely gives titans a second glance as she slices their necks open, is silently weeping before her. Sasha feels her own eyes swell as she wonders how often this has happened when Mikasa has come by herself.

Mikasa bows her head in an attempt to hide her tears. She hasn't cried sense the first night of after the accident, when she had to sleep in her own bed for the first time in weeks, and she certainly hasn't cried in front of anyone for quite some time. Especially not Sasha. Yet, now, as she clings to his chilled hand, she can no longer hold back her pain.

"Levi…" She chokes out in a voice that is barely audible, gripping his hand tighter and not even bothering to suppress her sobs at this point. Sasha grips her shoulder tighter as the dark haired girl crumbles before her. They remain like this for several minutes until Mikasa is able to calm herself. Even then she still holds his hand close for a long while, too afraid that if she lets go she'll never be able to hold it again.

A sudden knock at the door startles both girls. They whirl around to find the plump nurse standing in the doorway, a medical cart close behind her. Mikasa releases his hand and wipes her face with her sleeves before pulling up her crimson scarf to cover her flushed cheeks.

"Just coming in to check up on him," the nurse clarifies, "but I would prefer if you ladies stepped out, I need all the space I can get."

"Yes, ma'am, of course." Sasha nods and heads out of the room, peering over her shoulder to see if Mikasa follows. She does, but she keeps herself distant. Her shoulders droop and her dark bangs cover her eyes, which Sasha figures are probably red and puffy. She stops and holds out a hand to comfort her friend, but Mikasa fails to notice, walking directly by her without so much as a second glance.

_ I hate feeling like this, _Mikasa thinks as she drags herself down the hall, barely paying attention to where she is going. _I feel so lost… I miss him so much. I can't live like this anymore. The pain…it's too much… _She shuts her eyes tightly, a vain attempt to keep her tears from escaping.

It is now close to lunch time, but feeling her appetite fade she doesn't go to the mess hall. She just walks, ignoring anyone who bothers to greet her or walk past her. All she wants, all she can _think _about, is the need to touch him again. To be touched by him again. To see his eyes and hear his voice. To wake up and be wrapped in his arms just like she had in her dream…

_ "Oi, Mikasa," _She can nearly hear his voice…

"Mikasa, watch where you're-" She glances up and stops just in time to prevent a head-on collision with Eren and Armin.

"I've been looking all over for you, Mikasa!" Eren explains, "Armin and I were just about…to…" He trails off as she brushes past him and Armin, tugging her scarf just above her nose. The boys share a confused glance before Eren trots after her, Armin following him closely.

"Mikasa, is everything alright? Are you-"

"I'm fine," she insists, struggling to keep herself from sniffling. She feels Eren's hand gently tugging on her wrist, pulling her to a stop. He pulls her around to face him, but she keeps her gaze fixed on the floor, allowing her dark bangs to shield her swollen eyes. Eren interrogates her for several minutes, but comes up with nothing. However, Armin, as usual, forms his own hypothesis without asking her a single question.

"Is it…about the C-"

A loud bang sounds from the mess hall, the result of one of the servers slipping and dropping one of the mettle pots. The sound interrupts Armin, allowing Mikasa a few moments to compose herself. Eren's grip on her wrist loosens and she gently pulls out of his grasp.

"I'm fine, Eren, really," she assures him, "I'm just…not feeling well. I think I've caught a cold, is all."

Mikasa can tell that he doesn't believe her, hut he takes the hint that she doesn't want to talk about it. She pulls away without saying goodbye and continues down the hall, hearing her friends whisper worriedly about her as they carry on down their end of the hall. She's exhausted and wants to just fall into his bed and be wrapped in his sheets, but the thought of waking without him holds her back.

_ Dreams aren't enough for me anymore, Levi, _she frowns, realizing her dreams were _never _truly enough, _I can't take this anymore. Please, come back to me._


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the feedback! Here's chapter two!

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He was always the first to wake up. No matter how late he would stay up, nor how early she would go to bed, he would always find himself waking before her.

Of course he did not mind this, for in the early hours just before dawn was when he found that she looked the most at peace. Her face wouldn't be contorted into the frown, glare, or blank expression that she usually presented. It would be completely relaxed, and he more often than not found himself absorbed by her beautiful features. On those mornings he would stare at her and forget about all the pain, all the blood, all the ghosts and all the _voices _that plagued him. He would stare until those stunning grey eyes would flutter open and meet his, followed by a groggy smile that was _so damn beautiful_.

God, he misses those mornings. It feels as though it has been years since he was able to wake up to those eyes.

All he can do is dream about them, but unfortunately his mind has other ideas. Regularly he see's his comrades being ripped away from him, whether it be in the form of a titan or some other way. He hears them calling out to him, begging for him to rescue them.

_ It always ends the same. He never makes it to them in time. He never saves them._

_ First it was his old squad, then slowly the members of his new team followed. Eren, Jean, Armin, all of them, until there was only one left._

_ Mikasa._

_ However he refuses to let her die. He runs to her, faster than what feels humanly possible, but the titan behind her is too quick. It grabs her before he can get there in time. Suddenly, Levi finds himself frozen against his will. All her can do is watch._

_ "Levi!" She cries, "Get up! Levi!"_

_ He tries to call out to her, but nothing comes out. He can't move, he can't speak, he can't look away. _

_ "Levi, please!"_

_ Mikasa! No…no!_

"No!" He opens his eyes, only to slam them shut again once the intensity of the sun hits his face. "Wha-" he tries to talk, but the tubes in his mouth force him to stop. _What the hell? What is this? Where the fuck am I?_

"C-Corporal! You're awake!" He cracks his eyes open and sees a plump, short nurse standing over him. "Can you hear me? Oh, dear, please tell me you can hear me!"

He manages to muffle out a few sounds that resemble words, and she sighs in relief. "This is wonderful! Don't worry, sir, I'll get someone in here to get those tubes out in just a moment. J-just stay awake, ok?"

Once she is gone, he tries to remember just _how _he got here. He tries to sit up, but a terrible throbbing in his abdomen stops him. Then he remembers.

His gear had failed him mid flight and he'd been grabbed by a titan. It had put him in it's mouth and tried to bite down, but was killed by some other soldier before it could take his life. _I must have blacked out after that…_he realizes just as the doctors return to his room. Thankfully they don't waste time. Most of the tubes are removed from his body in a few minutes.

"How are you feeling, Corporal?" One of them asks with a large smile, "tired? Nauseous? Weak?"

Levi props himself up on his elbows and leans back against his pillow, taking a deep breath afterward. He does feel tired, and weak, and even a little nauseous, but worst of all he feels unbelievably _filthy. _Grimy, sweaty_, disgusting_. He can hardly keep his composure. _How long has it been_, he wonders, _since my last shower_?

"When can I…" he pauses, his throat is immensely dry and his voice comes out hoarse and almost inaudible. He clears his throat before continuing. "When can I take a shower?"

The doctor chuckles at this, "as soon as we're done checking over you, you may bathe."

"Then make this quick," Levi grunts as he pushes himself up further, pain shooting up from his abdomen, "I feel _disgusting_."

The doctors ask him a number of questions and check him over, starting with his wounds and temperature and ending with him having to walk around the room several times without falling, which to his surprise took a longer amount of time than he expected. Finally they finished, and as they left him they asked if it would be alright if they informed his comrades of his condition.

"Tch, go ahead," he scoffs, "I'm sure they cared a _great _deal." He starts to head to the shower in the corner of his room, grabbing a towel on his way.

"Oh, but they did, sir!" The little nurse informs him, "the Commander and other Squad Leaders stopped by several times, and there was this one young girl who came by almost everyday."

He stops. _A girl_? _Could it be Mikasa?_…"Did she, now?" He asks without looking at her. "I wonder who that could be…"

"I don't believe I ever caught her name, but she was tall, had black hair, grey-ish eyes, I think…maybe blue…" She trails off, "sorry, I didn't pay much attention to detail. She was from the Survey Corps, though, I did notice that. Oh, and she always wore a scarf around her neck. Weird, huh?"

_ She did come by after all._

"Indeed." He answers with a grin, although with his back to the short woman she can't see. "Be sure to tell her to come by." He adds, pulling his shirt off and pulling back the curtain to the shower.

_XX_

With the bone chilling temperature and rain pouring down with no signs of yielding, the training grounds are completely bare. No one is running laps, lifting weights, sparring with the punching bags, nothing.

Until a lone figure makes it's way out of the main building. With their face clouded with a hood, the shadow's identity is unknown. However, as they begin to punch and kick relentlessly with a technique like no other, it is easy to put a name to the figure.

Mikasa Ackerman

She punches, kicks, punches again and again until her hands go numb. Her skin is raw and threatens to bleed, but she continues her attack. She ignores the pain in her limbs and takes out all of her agony out on the punching bag. Her face is red and puffy from a combination of tears and a bitter, chilled wind. Her lips are chapped and cracked, and with every punch she bites down, drawing blood, but she keeps on fighting; focusing on the target in front of her and nothing else.

But she can still see him, hear him, feel him. No matter how hard she tries he's still there, haunting her every thought. She hasn't been able to go back to his room since that day with Sasha, which was nearly three days ago.

_ I can't bear to see him like that anymore_

With a final blow she tears a hole in the punching bad, something she's done a few other times in the past, but this time there are no laughs or cheers from her squad mates, just the crackling thunder up above and the empty feeling that has consumed her entire being. She feels her legs becoming weaker, and turns to drag her soaked, bloody body back into the main building. There is nothing for her inside, but she knows if she's out in the rain any longer, she'll possibly get sick. _Not that it matters_…

"Mikasa!" She stops, wondering if she just imagined it or if she did, in fact, her someone calling out to her. After several moments of nothing but the sound of rainfall, she continues forward.

"_Mikasa_!"

She stops once more, only this time she looks up, frantically searching for the source of the voice. The combination of rain and thunder make it even harder to hear, but as she listens she can hear the sound of footsteps. Heavy and fast footsteps; the unmistakable sound of someone charging her.

"Mikasa? Mikasa, where are you?" She hears them again, only closer, and much more distinguishable.

"Sasha?" She calls back, "Sasha, is that you?" She feels someone grab her from behind and spin her around. It is, indeed, Sasha. She grabs Mikasa with such force that it nearly knocks her to the ground.

"Sasha, what are you-"

"_He's awake_!" Sasha blurts out, shaking Mikasa.

"What?" Did she hear her correctly? _Impossible. Just the other day he was on his death bed, how could he possibly be-_

"He's _awake_, Mikasa!" Sasha exclaims again, "the Corporal is _awake_!"

Mikasa feels her entire body go numb just before she collapses into her friends arms. Clumsily they drag themselves inside, and Sasha forces Mikasa to go back to their barracks and change into dry clothes before going to see the Corporal. She feels so weak, but the thought of seeing Levi awake and alive keeps her going. She's bruised and bloody, but nothing was going to keep her away from him.

She opens the door of her room and finds Sasha still there, standing in her soaked uniform. The auburn haired girl smiles at her gently. "Go. I won't make it awkward and follow you. Besides, I need to change out of this."

Mikasa wants to tell her how thankful she is, but no words come to mind. Instead, she smiles, and reaches out and hugs her friend. Knowing full and well how rare she does this, she trusts it will show how grateful she truly feels. Sasha is completely caught off guard, but after a few awkward moments pass she returns with a tight squeeze. Mikasa let's go and gives her one last thankful glance before jogging towards the infirmary.

Sasha watches her with a grin until Mikasa turns down the hall, out of her sight. As much as she wants to follow her friend, she knows it's best for her to go on her own. It's rare in their line of work that people find this type of happiness, and if any of them deserve it the most, it's Mikasa and Levi.


	3. Chapter 3

Final Chapter! Thanks to everyone who liked/reblogged/gave feedback! You guys rock! This chapter is rated T. It's not very heavy at all, but I'm telling you just as a warning ^^' Anyways, enjoy, and tell me what you think!

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_What if this is just another dream? What if I get to his room, but wake up when I open the door, and Levi is still…still_…

Mikasa shakes her head in frustration. _He is awake, he is _alive_! Don't lose yourself. Everything is going to be okay. _She turns another corner, each of her footsteps echoing down the seemingly endless hallway. Her heart pounds harder within her chest with every new _click _of her shoes as they connect with the floor beneath them. She can feel the beads of sweat forming above her brow, some of which even begin to venture down her temple.

"Calm down," she whispers, inhaling deeply and slowing her pace. _Why am I so nervous? What am I afraid of?_ She dabs at the sweat with her sleeve and runs her fingers through her tangled, wet hair. She sighs in annoyance when her fingers get caught, and combs the dark mass with her fingers as much as she can.

_ I probably look like hell, _she thinks to herself as she glances at the scraped skin on her knuckles. They're not bleeding like she had expected, but the newly exposed skin has begun to sting. She knows it would be best to get them wrapped before seeing Levi, but the thought of being without him even longer keeps her from doing so. She's been alone for nearly three weeks and it's beginning to drive her mad.

How many times has she found herself staring at the bunk above her, unable to sleep, because she knows all she will dream about is him? How long has it been since they last looked each other in the eyes? Since they last touched? Kissed? Shared a bed? She cringes, for it had been the very night before they went outside the Walls.

_ "It's still early…someone might hear," Mikasa breathes out as Levi presses her back against the mattress, kissing her jaw line and slowly working his way down her neck. _

_ "A-and with the mission starting in the morning-" she pauses as he removes his shirt, "we really shouldn't-" he kisses her roughly, silencing her._

_ "All the more reason we _should_," Levi mumbles into her mouth as he pulls away to undo the buttons on her night shirt, satisfied when he discovers nothing but skin underneath._

_ "And I don't give a damn if those shit heads hear us. For all we know, this could be our last night to-"_

_ Mikasa pulls him back for another chaste kiss. He was right. No matter how well they had fought in the past, they could never predict the outcome when it came to battles beyond the Walls. This very well could be the last time they saw each other alive._

_ Levi grins against her lips as he reaches down to finish the buttons on her shirt, pushing it to her sides once he's done. She sits up and pulls her arms free of the sleeves and tosses it off the bed. He pulls his mouth from hers and resumes his journey down her neck, kissing and biting at her newly exposed breasts, slowly making his way even lower._

Mikasa smiles briefly at the memory. It was rare for them to be able to experience anything more intimate than a kiss, what with everyone else living under the same roof as them. She remembers being able to fall asleep with his arms around her later that night, and waking up the following morning in the exact same position.

_ Mikasa wakes to the sound of Levi's gruff, drowsy voice, "Mikasa, get up. You overslept."_

_ Mikasa curses under her breath as she pries herself from his arms and searches for her pajamas. She can hear movement from the other side of the door. "Fuck," she huffs out as she pulls on her pants._

_ "That's what got us here in the first place," Levi scoffs as he climbs out of bed and tosses her shirt to her before pulling on his pants. Mikasa glares at him, buttoning up her shirt and checking herself in the mirror. She runs her fingers through her wild hair and tries to hide the bite marks on her collar bone with her shirt. _

She had been so mad at herself that morning, but she had also been lucky. The few who were awake had been in the kitchen or showers, allowing her to sneak back to her room unnoticed. Thinking back on everything that followed later that day, she would risk being caught all over again just to be _near _him one more time.

"Ah! Miss!" She hears someone calling from the end of the hallway. She looks up and sees the nurse she'd met while visiting Levi walking towards her.

"I've been looking for you, miss," the nurse informs her, "I sent your friend to tell you the Corpor-"

"Yes, she found me, thank you," Mikasa hates to interrupt her, but she's only one turn away from the hall with Levi's room.

"Great!" The nurse beams, "he woke up yesterday afternoon, but we wanted to wait until this morning to inform everyone just incase something happened overnight. He's doing just fine now, he even ate a little breakfast."

_ He's eating, that's a great sign! _Mikasa nods to the short woman. "When can I see him?"

"If your not busy now, I'm sure he'd be happy to-"

Mikasa nods and brushes past the woman to turn down the hall. His door is directly in front of her. She reaches up to knock and notices her hands are shaking. Her entire _body _is shaking. _Calm down, calm down…_

She takes a deep breath and forces herself to knock, still fearful that he won't be awake to answer her.

"Come in."

She nearly falls back at the sound of his voice. _He sounds so annoyed, does he know it's me?_ She wonders as she turns the handle, entering his room.

"Ah, Mikasa!" Squad Leader Hanji greets her, "I didn't expect to see you here, but come in! We were just-"

"No," Levi cuts her off, "_you, _Hanji,were just _leaving._ You've been here all damn morning."

"I've only been here for fifteen minutes!"

"Fifteen minutes to many," Levi growls, "now leave. I would like to speak with Ackerman. _Privately_."

"Fine!" Hanji whines and heads to the door, "good luck dealing with him, Mikasa." She pauses at the door, catching sight of Mikasa's condition. "What happened to you?" She asks, turning away from the door to look at Mikasa's hands.

"I was just training." Mikasa explains, trying to end the conversation as quick as possible.

"Out in this storm? Are you mad?"

"I just needed to clear my head…"

"And your lip is-"

"_Hanji_!" Levi snaps, "I'll have the nurse look over her once she returns. Now _get out_. Ackerman and I have very important things to discuss."

Hanji makes a face at him. "Make sure you get your hands looked at, Mikasa." She adds as before walking out the door.

Mikasa hears Levi stir in his bed as she turns and closes the door once Hanji is far enough not to hear, relieved she is alone with him. She turns back towards him, but before she can even turn completely she feels a set of hands cup her cheeks and pull her into a kiss.

"Oh, Levi…" she cries against his lips, wrapping her arms around him and gripping his hair in her hands. He mimics her actions, pulling away a few moments later to wipe the tears from her face. She buries her face into his neck.

"I've missed you so much," she nearly weeps, pulling him against her tightly. He takes a step back and pulls himself onto his mattress and wraps his arms around her once more.

"I'm sorry I left you," he says in a voice so hushed she hardly hears him. Her hands gently roam over his chest and down his abdomen, lifting his shirt up enough to reveal his wound. It's healed nicely, but will no doubt leave a massive scar. She cringes and covers it again, returning her gaze to his face. He's pale, she notices. The dark circles under his eyes also catch her attention.

"I couldn't sleep last night," he admits, "I kept having these terrible dreams…" He trails off, obviously not wanting to go into detail. He looks down at her hands and takes hold of them gently, careful not to touch any of her wounds.

"You need to rest," she insists, pulling one hand free and running her fingers through his hair, "I'll be here when you wake up." Before she can take her seat in the chair by his bed, he grabs her wrist and tugs her back towards him.

"I've been sleeping for almost three damn weeks," he protests, then scoots closer to the edge of the bed, "if you're going to make me sleep some more, the least you could do is join me."


End file.
